How do I overcome shyness and shame?

Hi. I would love to be able to sing in front of other people, but I get extremely shy and feel ashamed that I really can't even hold a tune if someone is listening. It's super embarrassing. Is it because I really can't sing?

Thanks!

Lackosleep

Hi Lackosleep - Don't worry, that is very common but something that will improve the more you do it. Before a performing for others you should do lots of practicing, and don't forget to make sure your voice is warmed up. The more you sing for others, the better you will get.

Check out this tutorial on performing here for some more tips: https://www.30daysinger.com/tutorial/perform-like-a-pro

Hi Lackosleep,

I totally hear you. My first 'performance' was at a benefit dinner in a church basement, and I totally sucked. But, I did the whole song (saying to myself that I'm not going to quit). 

What helped me was learning a couple of easy songs, then recording myself singing them. Listening to them afterwards I realized that my voice wasn't that bad, and after a while I actually started liking my voice. That is the key, you need to like your singing voice if you're gonna expect anyone else to enjoy it.

Hearing yourself properly while you sing also helps a lot. A good microphone helps, and wearing headphones to hear yourself. You can get a mic, headphone and mixer combo for little money on Amazon.  You don't need to start with pro quality gear, just something so you can hear yourself and your backing track or instrument.

But above all, don't quit, enjoy the jouney.

Dan

Hi. Whenever I sing infront of people I clam up and get super nervous do you have any tips tohelpmy with confidence? 

Thanks, Katie

Hi Katie,

That is a completely normal feeling to have whenever you're getting ready to stand up and perform. Even seasoned professionals get nervous, but there are a few things you can do to be more confident.

- Try practicing what you will perform consistently, so it feels like second nature singing the piece

- Practice in front of a mirror, then a close friend/family member

- Warm up and stretch you entire body 

- Breath deeply and release any tension

- Make sure you drink a lot of liquids to lubricate your voice/throat 

- Smiling is a great way to put yourself at ease

These are just a few tips, but make sure you check out our tutorials on performance if you want some more in-depth advice. Good luck!

Girl,(or guy whatever you prefer) I'm sure there is no reason to be scared! I once had to sing for 1,000 people for school... I thought I was gonna die, And i was singing The war we made, by red. a rock song. Don't be shy! Encourage yourself! Tell yourself "I can!" 

There's a new book on this topic called "Singing for the self-conscious"! I listened to an interview with the author, and it sounds really helpful:

https://www.amazon.com/Singing-Self-Conscious-practical-overcome-performing/dp/0648946401

That's lovely, Ellisael!

I never used to be self-conscious as a child singer. But as an adult, I find I get nervous, then I don't sound anywhere near as good as I can do.

I try singing around the house, or in the car. Even if others are around, and I would normally get nervous.

The only problem I have is when they sing along as well.

It shouldn't bother me, but I can't hear my own voice when they sing as well.

Hi, Pip! I wonder if a good solution might be learning to harmonize with a family member. I remember your wife is a musician, so perhaps you could learn a few duets. That way you'd have the support of another singer (which always makes me feel less nervous) but you'd still hear your voice distinctly (since you're singing different parts). What do you think?