What if I really just have a bad voice and can't sing?

Hi,Katye
I'm Midori from Tokyo, Japan. This is my first time to comment this forum.
My English skill is not so well, but I hope you understand my words to say.

I had a kind of confident to sing because some famous musician recognized me and support my music activity. But gradually I got a fear of singing, not only singing but also speaking. My voice is freaking shivering shaking and breaking. When I gave up singing I cried and cried never ever had.
I decided to change my career to play the piano. Now I really enjoy playing piano and teaching how to play jazz, and my favorite work is accompanying singers. 
But I never forget my desire of singing whole my career for about 40 years. I tried to back my voice all the time. I read many books about singing and related issues about physical training or mental training, I tried to join groups to share singing because I thought it can be an opportunity to back the joy of singing. Many vocal instructors gave me many essential lessons, but all failed. At last I took mental councelling for remove my fearness of singing, and I realized no one can remove it but myself.
I never give up. I can't give up.

Last month, I found this site, and I do vocal warm up excercise everyday. 
I feel better and I move forward little by little. 
Someday I wish I could take private lesson with Camille.

Hi, Midori! Thank you so much for sharing your story. You might enjoy this book, "Singing for the self-conscious"! I'm also including an article I wrote on building confidence below. I wish you the best on this journey!

Building confidence as a singer

Camille van Niekerk

 

When it comes to nerves and confidence, we can work from the inside out. That entails:

 

• Gaining performance experience

• Identifying your strengths

• Listening to encouragement from others 

• Addressing the fears at the root of your nerves

 

And that’s all good, but it does take some time. We can also work from the outside in to get some more immediate benefits. That might look like: 

 

• Assuming a tall, confident posture

• Singing with energy and engagement

• Not looking flustered if/when you make mistakes

• Putting confidence on display, even if you don’t feel naturally confident

 

With any skill, we start small and increase difficulty or scale. Here are a few ways you can apply that principle to your singing:

 

1. Choose songs with a relatively narrow range 

 

You’ll feel more confident knowing that the pitches are easy for you to sing! For beginners, it’s best to avoid extremely high or low notes that don’t feel consistent yet. You may also want to avoid your passaggio (the point at which your voice “flips” from chest voice into head voice) until you’ve developed mixed registration and can navigate through that middle section more easily. See https://singingcarrots.com/home for some song ideas listed as “easy” for your range.

 

2. Focus on just one thing per performance. 

 

It can be overwhelming when your goal for a performance is perfection on every level. Rather than that, establish one goal to focus on. Maybe it’s engaging your body or relaxing your jaw. Whatever it is, that can really help ground you.

 

3. Gradually increase the stakes.

 

Your first step might be singing in front of a friend or taking a voice lesson. Next, you may sing with a friend or family member. Then you could sing for a small group of friends or family. Try an open mic night. Send a recording of yourself to a trusted friend or teacher for feedback. Join a local church or community choir. Go to a karaoke bar. 

Of course, you could jump straight into something like an audition or singing at a wedding. But as you gain experience in low-pressure environments, you’ll also gain confidence to gradually increase the stakes. 

 

See below for some more advice from our 30-day beginner course:

 

1. Remember your breath. 

 

When we’re nervous, it’s the first thing to go! So return to that low, relaxed breath, and use it to help calm your body.

 

2. Trust your technique! 

 

When you’ve practiced with good posture and then go to perform, just getting into that same posture helps you “lock in”. 

 

3. Acknowledge what you’re feeling. 

 

Denying or resisting those feelings of anxiety or fear won’t necessarily make them go away. Instead, address them. You can say to yourself, “I’m feeling nervous, because I care about this performance. I’m thankful that I care, and that I have energy to fuel my performance.”

 

4. Use confident postures. 

 

This includes during performance and prior to it. Assuming a confident posture actually increases your testosterone levels and decreases cortisol, meaning you actually are less stressed and more confident (at least biochemically).

 

5. Smile! 

 

And don’t let your face show when you’ve made a mistake. Chances are, you know the song way better than the audience does! They might not even know you’ve made a mistake, unless you act like it.

 

6. Focus on the text and the story. 

 

This one always helps me. It’s a welcome distraction to really throw yourself into the character and the emotion; and that’s our goal anyways! Emotionally connected performances are the best kind. 

 

See this live lesson on performance prep for some more tips on building confidence, managing nerves, and learning from your past performances: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8E3iU5XCNOY. 

Thank you both for sharing.

 

Midori, I wish you well on your singing journey. It soundsl like you're making good progress.